


It's the End of the World (for Plagg)

by 128andfalling



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Is Sunshine, Gen, Lactose Intolerant Plagg, Plagg Loves Cheese, Some serious projection from the author, Sunshine Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 07:35:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15881505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/128andfalling/pseuds/128andfalling
Summary: Plagg’s world has ended. The worst thing he could possibly imagine has come true. He is now... Lactose intolerant.





	It's the End of the World (for Plagg)

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank you to @baelfyre1053 for beta reading this for me!

Adrien loved his kwami. He really did. They joked and teased one another, but it was all out of love. Sometimes though... Sometimes that little god of destruction got to him, and, in those moments, Adrien wanted nothing more than to smother him with a pillow.

Usually, cheese was a quick and sure way to soothe Plagg into a state of peace; much like giving a pacifier to a baby. However, the last couple of weeks Adrien was surprised to find that wasn’t working. In fact, giving Plagg cheese only seemed to make him worse.

About two weeks ago, after Plagg had devoured his second breakfast of Camembert, the kwami’s groans and complains echoed from the bottom of Adrien’s trash can.

“Did you poison my precious Camembert? How could you do this to me? Uggghhhhh.”

“I didn’t,” Adrien sighed. “Maybe you shouldn’t have wolfed it down, you glutton.”

From then on, whenever Plagg ate his favorite snack, he would groan and complain for the next hour, occasionally throwing accusations at Adrien for poisoning him.

“Look, Plagg,” Adrien finally snapped one day. “It’s the same cheese that I’ve given you since I first became Chat Noir. I’m not poisoning you so stop accusing me. Try a cracker for Heaven’s sake if the cheese makes your stomach hurt. You can’t just not eat and you know it.”

Plagg eyed the cracker that Adrien held out to him suspiciously.

“But it’s not cheese,” Plagg pouted.

“I know. But you’re not even enjoying the cheese anymore because of how sick you feel afterwards. Now, for my own sanity, please just try it.”

“Fine.” Plagg took the cracker from Adrien and tried a tentative bite. After chewing slowly to see how his stomach felt, he tried another. And another.

“How do you feel?” Adrien asked, trying to gage his little friend’s reaction.

“Unfulfilled, but not sick. How can anyone eat such a lifeless square? You know what would make it taste better? Brie. Or Gouda. Or even cheddar. I know it’s low, but I would even take cheese from the can.”

“I know, bud,” Adrien sympathized. “But for now, let’s try laying off the cheese for the next few days and see how you feel. I’ll find you something a little more flavorful in the meantime.”

Two excruciating days passed of Plagg’s cheese free diet. Every day—more like every hour—Plagg would give Adrien different snack ideas.

“What about a cheese danish? Cheesecake? Pizza? Nachos! Please just a bite, a taste! I’d take a smell at this point!”

“I saw you sneak a piece of cheese yesterday, Plagg. You spent the rest of the day complaining.”

The kwami just pouted at his holder, unable to argue with the fact that his stomach had been betrayed by the love of his life.

“I have some bad news for you,” Adrien’s serious tone catching the little god’s attention.

“What could that possibly be?” Plagg narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Adrien must be confessing that he had been poisoning him all along.

“You’re lactose intolerant.”

“Ha! I’ve eaten cheese since the dawn of civilization. That’s im _paw_ sible.”

“I’m serious, Plagg. I remember studying this in my nutrition class. People can develop allergies and intolerances throughout their lives, even if they eat it all the time. You have all the symptoms. Just think about how you feel after you eat dairy.”

“But,” tears started to pool in the kwami’s eyes, “Nothing is as good as cheese. I can’t eat crackers for the rest of eternity!”

Adrien scooped the little cat into his hands and rubbed his thumb reassuringly against his cheek. “Hey, we’ll find something you like. I promise. It’s not going to be the same, but I have some ideas we can start with. What do you say to a shopping run?”

45 minutes later, Chat Noir climbed back through the window with an assortment of groceries.

“Claws in.” Adrien began to pull items out of a bag and place them on his coffee table. “Okay, Plagg. I tried to find things that have strong tastes to satisfy your palate. We have sausage, a hardboiled egg, broccoli, dark chocolate, and local honey. And if you kinda like one of these things, we can use that to direct us to more types of food. Are you ready to start sampling?”

“I refuse to eat meat; we kwamis are vegetarians you know. And it’s a personal choice to avoid tiny trees. Next!”

“They say you learn something new every day,” Adrien mumbled before continuing. “Alright then. That leaves the egg, chocolate, and honey. The only one I’m worried about is the honey because it’s a little messy. And knowing you, most of my belongings will probably end up covered in it. But if you like it, we’ll make it work.”

Adrien opened the jar of honey and slid it down the table to where Plagg hovered.

“Bon appetit.”

After an encouraging wink from his holder, Plagg dipped a paw into the liquid and watched as the excess honey dripped back to the jar.

“Well, if Pollen can do it, then maybe it’s not too bad.”

Adrien watched with excitement and anticipation as Plagg slowly put his paw in his mouth, before swiftly pulling it back out.

“Nope!” Plagg exclaimed. “No way. Can’t do it. Nada. Nope.”

After helping the little god forget his contact with the liquid gold, Adrien handed Plagg the egg.

Plagg quirked an eyebrow at him. “It’s hard.”

“Oh, right.” Adrien scouted closer. “You have to take the shell off before you can eat it. Here, I’ll help.” A few frustrating minutes later, Adrien offered the egg to Plagg again. Only this time, it was glossy, and the surface was patchy from where the white had ripped in the de-shelling process. Plagg looked between the egg and Adrien’s hopeful face.

God bless him; the kid was trying.  

Taking in a deep breath, Plagg bit into the egg. And instantly regretted it.

“Why is it slimy and dry at the same time?!” Plagg whined and—forgetting his table manners, specifically the one about not talking with your mouth full—spewed egg all over the table.

Once the egg had been successfully removed from the table and Plagg’s tastebuds, Adrien unwrapped the dark chocolate.

“Now that I think about it, the egg probably wouldn’t have worked.” Adrien chuckled to himself. “Peeling it would be messy like the honey, and would take way too long. Not to mention, I bet we would constantly end up walking on eggshells.”

Who knew Adrien had crickets in his bedroom.

With no response, Adrien broke off a piece of chocolate and handed it to Plagg, who was still giving him a deadpan stare.

After a brief examination, Plagg took a cautious bite.

“You know what?” Adrien started. “You may like pickles. We could pick some up next-”

“Shh.”

Adrien starred at Plagg in disbelief. Did he just...

“There are other options--”

“Ssshhhh.”

He did.

“I’m just trying to--”

“Sshhh! You’re ruining the moment.”

Adrien’s eyebrows furrowed as he contemplated Plagg’s words, and then his face lit up like he was the sun itself.

“You like it!”

Plagg shooed him away, but failed to hide his smile.

“Leave me alone and go buy some more. I need to make up for eating all those awful crackers. I feel like I haven’t eaten in days.”


End file.
